The 110 Institute: Press

Join the movement to make all of our children more literate and more considerate, with the weekly publication of the Tri-State Defender's "TSD Youth Literacy Project". It features the listing of "110 Tasks", the Word of the Week, and timely book reviews. Also, log on to "tristatedefender.com" to read Editorials from Tony Nichelson of the 110 Institute.

“Man-ters” Versus Mentors:

Real Men Who Have Time to Share… But None to Waste

Tony Nichelson

Modern mentoring programs, for the most part, are well-intended, and occasionally effective. Amid all the noise from groups and individuals who claim to be mentoring, the results continue to be shallow and isolated at best, and manipulative at a more realistic and sinister level. There are approximately six million African-American (urban) youngsters in the U.S., aged twelve to twenty-one (12-21). Current mentoring efforts touch most of these children in some distant way, mostly as a resource, but the actual number of effective mentor-mentee "connections" is miniscule, perhaps ten percent (10%).

Part of the reason for this shortcoming, and the central problem we face, is the inherent disconnect in the way Mentors are recruited, screened, trained, and assigned to a mentee. Another part of what's missing is the direct connection between the man and the boy, in terms of direction and purpose, where "real" men can immediately share what they know… right here, and right now. To quote one of my earlier editorials in the Tri-State Defender newspaper, "Real men have jobs, homes, families, responsibilities, and passions for life. Real men are confident in their persons, and in their abilities. They're usually busy most of the time, but that's what maintains those homes and families and passions". These types of men have some time to share, but none to waste. I call them "Man-ters".

Traditional "mentors" are recruited and given orientation to a variety of vague concepts concerning behaviors and responses of young boys. Too often, the facilitators are untrained, good-hearted souls who are in over their heads. God bless them one-and-all, those who would share time and attention with misguided urban teens. All of us should mentor or "coach" the young people around us, and volunteer a few hours to share some new ideas, skills and tasks with children who have never really learned to seek self-improvement. “Man-ters” are in a position to help fill this void, but they don’t have a lot of time for six-hour training sessions, before they ever see a child.

We need men to share their knowledge of chivalry and class with young boys. We need men to show them how to check or even change the oil on a car, or replace a kitchen floor tile for an elderly relative, or mix a bucket of concrete for a small home repair. Real men have time to share this kind of hands-on knowledge with boys, but they don't have a lot of time for philosophical meetings that “explore the possibilities" for growth of a young boy. Real men want to show up, meet the boys, get to work, see some progress, and leave all of the psycho-social aspects to counselors, preachers and parents. "Man-ters" offer encouragement to the young men as they leave, headed back to their families and to their busy lives. These men return to their homes and careers with a small sense of accomplishment, and will very likely return to "Man-ter" again, if they can comprehend what we're doing here.

Finally, the concept of "Man-ter" versus Mentor is aimed at a healthy exercise in placing critical resources where they're needed most, and not squandering the human capital that is needed now to train (or re-train) urban boys. I personally favor "team-mentoring" in nearly all cases, with several men and several boys assembling for skills development and task-completion. One-on-one mentoring (or coaching) is tough stuff. Mentors are not psychiatrists, and the boys who really need the help, don’t really make for very good patients. But the group concept is measurably more effective, and as common as the "Boy Scout" model or the “Pop Warner” football team operated by volunteer-coaches from the neighborhood.

"Man-ters" are real men who have time to share, but none to waste. We need millions of them to step forward, and offer what they have to local churches and schools. We need a million dollars, and a million mentors, but what we need most is for every man to stand up for his community, and be a "Man-ter" to every boy who needs it.


© Copyright 2010 Anthony Nichelson The 110Institute.com Memphis All Rights Reserved

Contact: Tony Nichelson / the110institute.com
anthony.nichelson@citcomm.com
110tasks@americamail.com

CULTURAL COLLAPSE:
The REAL Danger to the African-American Community
Tony Nichelson

Sagging pants on young men, shaky finances, unstable and toxic relationships, illiterate teens (and parents), deceitful politicians, weak men, irrational women, failed institutions, and a hundred other social illnesses plague the African-American community in 2010. Forty-five million lost souls, who continue to impotently witness the internal decay and destruction of their cultural history… five hundred years in-the-making, and now on the brink of collapse. The primary excuse given is that we are still victims of oppression and racism, and that our men are still treated as boys in a man's world; that the African-American community is "just a generation or two" removed from slavery. Even if those things were true, sagging pants and violent mistreatment of our women is a fairly new phenomenon.

Disrespect for senior citizens, armed car-jackings, epidemic drug sales and use, the mass criminalization of teens, and a complete disregard for education are all issues that have nothing to do with slavery. Irresponsible men, greedy women, selfish entertainers and athletes, and unconcerned teachers are now rooted in the cultural fabric of the African-American community. The self-destructive behavior of our boys is only a symptom of the larger sickness that must someday surely overtake our remaining cultural strength. Our sixty percent divorce rate, and the 51% rate of women over thirty-five years old, who have never married or had children, are factors as crucial as the four million confused, short-sighted, illiterate, and economically dysfunctional urban teens in our midst.

Our children are "intellectually blind", walking through life without even a cane to find their way. Looking at their plight another way, we could say that our young boys are in a fight for their cultural lives… completely unarmed. And that young ladies in their cadre are ignorant, poor, lustful, star-struck, confused, and quite vulnerable to almost anything that comes along… including domestic violence and disease. Our seniors are frightened, economically ravaged, and unable to negotiate our modern world. And our families rarely have dinner together, except for the tattered cultural remnants of "Sunday Dinner" at grandma's house, or for special occasions, like Christmas.

Even the revered "Black Church" must now be referred to loosely as the "faith-based" community, with doors open only from nine-to-five, and no social justice being carried out for the grandchildren of Civil Rights veterans who attended Mass Meetings, risking life and limb, to see a better day for their children's children. The African-American experience in this country was always fraught with danger, deception, disease (the Tuskeegee Experiment), and dislocation. Our cultural journey always moved ahead, often disjointed, mostly sporadic, but forward-moving none the less. The Cultural strength needed was always there, and saw victories in Topeka, Little Rock, Montgomery, Birmingham, and in 2008, in Washington, D.C., with the election of an African-American President. There are millionaire athletes and entertainers, and successful businesspeople among the ranks of modern Black folks. But ninety-five percent of the African-American population still lags behind in every economic, social and educational statistic worth measuring.

I'm proud to be an American of African ancestry, and there is still hope for our cultural survival. But not as long as we continue to say "things are fine", and these boys should be able to earn a living, no matter how raunchy and degrading their statements and video offerings may be. "Thug Life" has dominated the African-American cultural street experience for nearly three decades, and the evidence is starting to show what a complete lack of intellectual development can do to a race of people. Materialism has replaced morals, greed has replaced generosity, and "whatever" has replaced real work.

The Harlem Renaissance served a very useful and specific purpose, and now we need another "renaissance" to repair and strengthen the single thread that still holds together the tattered fabric that is the African-American experience in the United States. If we do nothing, as we have done, we will have no one to blame but ourselves… and it won't really matter, because no one will even care to continue the struggle that gave us this opportunity in the first place.

Sagging pants on young men, poor finances, toxic relationships, illiterate teens, crooked politicians, weak men, irrational women, failed institutions, and a hundred other social illnesses are what we must overcome… just to keep our cultural dreams alive. Those are the real dangers to the survival of African-American culture as we know it.

© Copyright 2010 / Anthony Nichelson / the110institute.com / Memphis

All Rights Reserved

Saving Our Mothers from Domestic Violence...
Finally Changing the Game, to Help Women & Girls

Tony Nichelson

The only issue in our society that is more prevalent than Domestic Violence is cancer. In fact, domestic violence probably touches and affects more people than cancer. It’s that serious. The hitting, punching and emotional abuse that befalls women caught up in abusive relationships leaves the victims and their children shattered for decades.

When Taffi Crawford, a Nurse and mother, was gunned down on the Friday before Valentine’s Day by her ex-boyfriend, we were all stunned. Just as we were stunned last year when a lovely and talented teacher, Ashley Scott was beaten and left for dead by her husband on their cold garage floor. This community is second in the nation in ‘reported’ cases of domestic abuse, with only 25 percent of cases ever being reported. Beatings and threats that don’t require medical attention or police involvement rarely get reported, but the damage is done to the women, girls and children who hear the harsh profanity, hear the punches landing, and see the rage of the animals who inflict the daily beatings.

Why does the woman stay, and why won’t the man stop hitting her? These questions are pondered by the YWCA Abused Women’s program staff, and by the authorities who continue to see the broken and battered bodies of the ladies who end up in the Emergency Room at the Med. The answer to “why the women stay”, can be summed up in three words… fear, economics, and love. The victims FEAR what will happen to them if they try to leave; the victims can’t financially afford to leave (or so they think); and in too many cases, the women actually still have love for the abuser, thinking he will one day change. False pride, low self-esteem, confusion, and embarrassment all contribute to the most reckless decision that these women will ever make. They give up their best years to this creep who only wants to control her, because he controls very little else in his life.

Here are some realities that Memphis must now consider. We can not continue to care more about the Memphis Animal Shelter than we do about the Memphis Sexual Assault Resource Center. I love animals, especially kittens, but we can not continue to make the discovery of three dead dogs in a Mississippi corn field a “Breaking News” story, while a woman has been beaten, raped, and told to clean up the mess. Let’s see the televised photographs of the black eyes and broken bones of abused women, just as we show emaciated dogs and cats, with a warning that these pictures are “graphic”. If we could only show the rage of these cowardly abusers on video, while they were actually swinging at vulnerable frightened women, the public would quickly turn on these creeps, just as we've turned on drunk drivers. Domestic violence happens behind closed doors… usually. It’s a private matter with huge public health implications.

Starting today, we have to empower women, and teach them self-defense techniques. We have to equip our boys with tactics and resources that can help their mothers break the cycle of brutality and domestic violence. We have to pass legislation that makes Protective Orders mean what they say, and teach women that it’s not okay to allow the suspect to talk his way back in with his promises to “do better”. We have to start early, teaching our boys that they don’t OWN this woman, and that she has a right to exist as a human being, not merely as a sex object that he can isolate from the outside world as he pummels her to the kitchen floor.

The only issue in our society that is more prevalent than Domestic Violence is cancer. It’s that serious, and the situation can only change with a constant focus on the reasons men do it, the reasons women stay in such violent conditions, and the real impact on the children who witness a beating in the early morning hours or in the middle of the night. I’ll stop short of calling for “good vigilantes” who will go to the aid of abused women, and we don’t want her brothers or uncles to go to jail for Assault while the abuser walks free as a crime victim. That would be the ultimate irony and insult. Self-defense techniques for women, new legislation modeled after Drunk Driving laws, greater public awareness, and real concern for the Mothers, aunts and sisters in our society who are beaten every day will level the playing field, and finally "change the game" in favor of women. We love you Taffi.

© Copyright 2010 Anthony Nichelson the110institute.com Memphis
All Rights Reserved

African-American Leadership in Memphis: 2010
Or the Lack Thereof…

Tony Nichelson

The situation is critical. Our hometown is facing a leadership crisis that could stifle the growth and development of children and citizens for another decade or two. Memphis was once a national leader in commerce - during the era of King Cotton. Memphis was named "The Nation's Cleanest City" five times. The place we call home was clearly recognized in the 1960s as an entertainment leader, with world-class personalities who led the music industry and set trends that helped shape American culture to this very day. Memphis produced its share of national leaders in Civil Rights, including Maxine Smith, Dr. Benjamin Hooks, Russell Sugarman and others who were connected to the larger Movement and its principal strategists. The Sanitation Worker's Strike of 1968 is as significant as any Civil Rights battles fought in Birmingham, Selma, Montgomery, Little Rock, Macomb and other places where it really counted.

Even on a local level, there were street activists in the 1960's who led demonstrations and protests against police brutality, educational deficiencies, and destructive economic practices in neighborhoods. My friend and mentor, Sakurra Abdul Yahweh, aka, Lance “Sweet Willie Wine” Watson, is a brilliant man who shared a higher level of Wisdom with not only me, but also with hundreds of other young men in the late 1970s and early 1980s. Teddy Withers was a strong, visionary leader, and we have produced few men like him since his untimely passing sixteen years ago.

One of the strongest political leaders ever was Harold Ford, Sr., who created an entourage that dominated local politics from the mid-1970s through the middle of this decade, followed by his talented son, Harold Ford, Jr. (who surveyed the local landscape, and high-tailed it to New York where the level of competition and leadership was measurably different from Memphis). The political hangers-on to the Ford coattails appeared to be leaders, but existed in name only. Citizens rarely saw these representatives, councilmen, commissioners, and bureaucrats in public, and there was nothing notable that many of these so-called leaders did before the "Tennessee Waltz" fiasco ensnared some of them, and neutered the rest. We can honestly say most of the "Ford entourage" was self-serving, and did little to cultivate or mentor young leaders, especially the kind that we so desperately need today… (not that self-serving politicians would really make good Mentors).

Most citizens can not even name their local representatives, and as you read this commentary, I challenge you to name five real leaders within the African-American community in Memphis, in the areas of Education, economics or culture. Not "employees"… Leaders! People who give little or no regard about the next election cycle or photo-op, but simply want to do what's right. Even the Faith community in this town resembles a cloud, with a few big "thunderstorm pastors" who tend to make strategic appearances. These preachers, or many like them, were relied upon during the Civil Rights Movement to provide meeting rooms, money, safe havens, and consistent leadership to combat a crisis that seems small now, compared to the educational and moral deficiencies faced by today's students. Most preachers today tend to support "safe" issues, and rarely confront authority or challenge public opinion. Many of them will address AIDS awareness, but not Domestic Violence. They raise money for an African village we never heard of, but not for the residents of apartment buildings being run by slum lords. A few preachers do good work behind the scenes, without fanfare, but the "big boys" typically are unapproachable, and rarely tackle illiteracy in families, juvenile delinquency (Gangs), or Attendance & Dropout rates in Secondary schools.

Where are the fathers of our violent and misguided students – boys and girls? Where were the "leaders" when millions of dollars were capriciously cut from schools before the start of a new academic year in 2008? Where have the so-called African-American leaders been on the issue of Bass Pro, or the closing of local community centers, or other recreational resources for our children? Where are the local community advocates for education, who should have stepped into the breech of the confusing and costly legal battle over School funding? In the opinion of this writer, African-American leadership in Memphis can be characterized as detached, inept, overly-cautious, weak, frustrated, compromised, and exhausted. Even the Democratic Party establishment here is in disarray, facing the bitter reality that, in a city boasting an African-American majority, Republicans swept the last local election, with the exception of Congressman Steve Cohen, a friend and dedicated supporter of young people in this community.

Now is the time for any men with balls to stand up, and for women with smarts and savvy to step forward, and do the right things for Memphis' children; not sixty and seventy-year-old recycled politicians, but new, assertive, smart, talented, well-trained and courageous young citizens who don't care whether they get ever elected or not. We need Leaders in homes, in schools, at City Hall, on street-corners, and in churches. We all need to think more like leaders, and not celebrities. Do your part for the right reasons, and people will remember what you did. Anything less, and history will expose your ambition to serve only yourself.

© Copyright 2010 Anthony Nichelson the110institute.com Memphis
All Rights Reserved.